3 Easy Steps to Find Your Glow

Life's too short for just surviving. This is Glow Wild, the podcast that helps you leave the BS behind and finally start living your best life. This is not self help, this is rediscovering what brings you joy and how to live a more mindful, happy life.

Real talk. Real tools. And a new glow!

In this episode, you will learn three methods to help you shift your feelings of sadness, grief and trauma to gratitude and happiness. I used these tools myself over the last five years of my life after experiencing immense trauma, self doubt, fear and sadness.

If I can do it, you can do it.

I'll take you through three research based steps to help you change your outlook and how to take the steps necessary to find your glow again. This episode is packed with stories, research and tools you can start using today.

Feeling better is possible. I know this from experience.

Links to research:

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) 2015 Study Journal of Traumatic Stress https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.22241

Positive Psychology Interventions (PPIs) 2005 randomized controlled trial in American Psychologist https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.22328

Behavioral Activation (BA) 2016 randomized clinical trial The Lancet https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(16)31140-0/fulltext

Transcription:

 Hey guys. I'm Nicole, and this is Glow Wild, the podcast. I'm excited to be here with you. This has been a long time coming. I've been thinking about doing this damn thing for so long now that I can't even believe the day is here. In 2012, I believe, when podcasts were first coming out, I did start one and it was called You've got this.

So I'm kind of building off that same idea here. And helping you to find your glow despite what life is throwing at you. So I'm really pumped to talk to you, and I just wanna thank you all for being here with me. Thank you for listening. Thank you for inviting me into your life and letting me share my story, and I'm so grateful to have your support and just the fact that you're here listening is the greatest gift.

This show is about you finding your glow. I know that life isn't fair and that it can be a struggle, and I also know that you can create happiness and rise from the ashes. Own your story and rediscover that light. This podcast is about overcoming and transforming my mission with Glow Wild is simple.

It's about rediscovering your dreams, your happiness, and your fire. Every episode is going to be packed with my own personal stories, practical plans, and proven methods to become a happier, more inspired you. Every week I'm gonna bring you on a journey towards self-fulfillment, along with guests, evidence-based research and more.

I'll be sharing my own story about how life brought me down and how I found the tools and the strength to climb back. I'm going to share the fear and self-doubt I've suffered. From for years and how I finally took the leap of faith past the fear to be here today on my very first episode. This is not a show.

It's a conversation between you and me about the ups and downs in life and all the relatable issues we face every day. First of all, I just wanna welcome you again and tell you a little bit about myself. I don't have anything fancy to share with you about books I've written or awards I've been given. I have a story.

Just about six months ago, I turned 40 and wow, did those four decades fly by? I still am in disbelief. In my heart and my mind, I still feel like a 20 something trying to figure things out. And I know many of you feel that

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hi, I'm Nicole and you're listening to Glow Wild. Hey guys! I'm Nicole, and this is Glow Wild, the podcast. I'm excited to be here with you. This has been a long time coming. I've been thinking about doing this damn thing for so long now that I can't even believe the day is here. In 2012, I believe, when podcasts were first coming out, I did start one, and it was called You've Got This. So I'm kind of building off that same idea here. and helping you to find your glow despite what life is throwing at you. So I'm really pumped to talk to you. And I just want to thank you all for being here with me. Thank you for listening. Thank you for inviting me into your life and letting me share my story. And I'm so grateful to have your support. And just the fact that you're here listening is the greatest gift. This show is about you finding your glow. I know that life isn't fair and that it can be a struggle. And I also know that you can create happiness and rise from the ashes, own your story and rediscover that light. This podcast is about overcoming and transforming. My mission with Glow Wild is simple. It's about rediscovering your dreams, your happiness and your fire. Every episode is going to be packed with my own personal stories, practical plans and proven methods to become a happier, more inspired you. Every week I'm going to bring you on a journey towards self-fulfillment along with guests, evidence-based research, and more. I'll be sharing my own story about how life brought me down and how I found the tools and the strength to climb back. I'm going to share the fear and self-doubt I've suffered from for years and how I finally took the leap of faith past the fear and Thank you so much for tuning in. Just about six months ago, I turned 40, and wow, did those four decades fly by. I still am in disbelief. In my heart and my mind, I still feel like a 20-something trying to figure things out, and I know many of you feel that way too. Not too long ago, I read Lucille Ball's biography and found out she didn't even start acting in the I Love Lucy show until she was 40. Not only that, she was the first pregnant actress on TV. And in those days, a woman in their 40s who was pregnant was not the norm. That single fact about her starting the show at 40 inspired me and gave me a new perspective. It's never too late to go after your dreams. I'm convinced that my 40s are going to be the best decade of my life. Now, I've always been a self-starter and a goal-oriented person. After college, I didn't have much direction and was working in a cafe as a barista. I knew that working for other people wasn't for me. I learned that early on. I crave independence and like to do things my way. Fine, call me a control freak. I get it. So one day I sat down around the age of 22 and wrote out a list of things I was passionate about. Painting, fitness, running, and writing. At the time I had blinders on and didn't think a career as a writer or painter was realistic. So I turned to my love of fitness and running. I did research and found that outdoor boot camps were becoming a big thing across the country. So I wanted to start my own. I called my parents for a$5,000 loan to buy equipment. No dice. They were afraid, and it's fair. They didn't want me to go out on my own. They wanted me to have security. I know that they were both business owners and knew the struggles of what it was like to run a business. I think they were just trying to protect me. Then, if they weren't going to give me the loan, I asked if they would co-sign on one for me. Again, they said no. and told me their fear about me going into business for myself, especially at such a young age. I was determined to figure it out, so I saved and started promoting myself on all the free websites I could. At that time, Craigslist was a goldmine for me. In a matter of a couple of months, I had a full schedule of personal training clients and multiple outdoor boot camps each day. I did all my training outdoors, so I didn't need that loan for rent or overhead. I continued on this journey for 10 more years and ultimately opened my own gym in Silicon Valley. But as entrepreneurs usually do, I got a little bored and tired. And I realized I was working out less and too tired to even do it after being in a gym for 10 hours on my feet. So I shifted gears and, you know, We all do throughout life. We all have a resume. We haven't been at the same job forever, and that's fine. So that's when I started to get serious about my art. It had always been a side hustle of sorts, but once I was accepted into an art gallery, and the four pieces I had consigned sold within a week, I began to trust that this was my path. That has been true for the last 15 years. It's amazing being a full-time artist, and I'm so grateful I get to share my art with the world. But even so, I have always known I've had a higher purpose, and the past five years of my life have shown me what that purpose is. In 2020, while pregnant with my second daughter during COVID, I developed a pulmonary embolism, which is a blood clot in my lung, and I was placed on heavy blood thinners. The birth and following procedures to stop a postpartum hemorrhage left me with a chronic and severe injury. Over the next three years, I went on to have 13 surgical procedures, including two ostomy bags. Because I live in a small town and my injury was so rare, I was forced to travel to Utah, New York, and Minnesota to the Mayo Clinic for specialized treatment. That meant I missed out on months and years with both of my daughters. I missed my second daughter's first steps and first words. It was devastating. Finally, in June of 2023, I returned from the Mayo Clinic and was attempting to get my life back on track after all the work and time I missed with my family, only to find out in July of that year that my three-year-old daughter had been diagnosed with stage four cancer. This led us to being life flighted out of our small town to a children's hospital in Utah. I didn't know it at the time, but it meant living there for nearly 10 months away from my husband and eldest daughter, Reese. What this experience taught me was beyond comprehension. It actually taught me to find the eye in the storm and stay calm and focused instead of emotional and out of control. Parker's diagnosis and nine months of treatment were hard on all of us, and every day was filled with fear. But as a mother, I had to be strong for her. This taught me that you can use mindset and courage to fight through life's hardest battles. Now, I'm not saying I don't have breakdowns or that it wasn't scary as hell, but I found out that I became stronger from the experience and have carried it into my current life. While Parker was sick, we were essentially sequestered to hospital rooms and alone in homes we rented near the hospital day after day because of her weakened immune system. The idea of childhood cancer was so inconceivable to me. They're just little innocent beings. They don't deserve it. So a mission to do anything I could to bring awareness and funding to childhood cancer research became my calling, my higher purpose. I applied to run the New York City Marathon for Fred's team, which donates all funds raised to Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. Upon being accepted, I started running after a 20-year hiatus. I would push my weak little baby Parker day after day in a stroller while I tried to regain endurance and strength. I ended up raising over$15,000 that went straight to childhood cancer research at Sloan Kettering. Today, I donate artwork for fundraisers and send monthly checks to St. Jude. I think the big takeaway here is that under some of the hardest circumstances and lowest lows is when we find our higher purpose. And that's exactly why I wanted to start this podcast. Not only did this dark time teach me lessons about standing up to the fear, but it also taught me about hope and the ability to overcome even the hardest challenges life throws at us by standing in the eye of that storm, in the calm, despite all the chaos surrounding you. Today, I want to share three research-based approaches to rediscovering joy after trauma and finding your higher purpose beyond just yourself. So let's jump in! One of the first strategies I want to discuss is called Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, or MBSR. The purpose of MBSR is to help you remain present, reduce overthinking and ruminating on what's weighing you down, and manage your emotional reactivity. In fact, a 2015 study in the Journal of Traumatic Stress found that veterans suffering from PTSD who participated in an eight-week MBSR program saw significant decreases in PTSD symptoms and had more compassion towards themselves. So what is it? It's actually pretty simple. The core techniques include mindful breathing. Have you ever noticed that when you're stressed out, you tend to forget to breathe? Maybe now I'm a little nervous recording my first episode and I realized I haven't taken a deep breath. Let's all take one together. You want to breathe in deeply, fill your belly, hold it for three seconds, and let it all go. Taking a moment to remind yourself to take five to ten deep breaths every hour could significantly change your state of mind. The next technique includes body scans and meditation. I know, meditation is hard, and trust me, I'm not good at it. I can't find the time. I can't fathom sitting there in silence. So what I found is a podcast called Sleep Cove, and it provides guided meditation, sleep hypnosis, and body scans available at your fingertips, which you can listen to at bedtime. I did this every day throughout Parker's treatment and continue to do it now. I've noticed better sleep, more energy, and less rumination and fear related to Parker's cancer diagnosis and all the trauma I went through with my own health struggles. The second strategy I want you to try out is positive psychology interventions, which helps you move beyond healing by actively building happiness and resilience. Evidence from Dr. Martin Seligman's work at the University of Pennsylvania shows that these exercises can improve well-being and life satisfaction in people with prior trauma or that are experiencing a traumatic event. This one isn't rocket science, and I think we're all familiar with the tenets. The idea to shift your focus from what's wrong to what's strong. You can do this by journaling five to ten gratitudes each day, visualizing the best version of yourself or the life that you want to live, and serving others through random acts of kindness and giving. In order to do this, you need to start to identify your unique strengths. As a daily practice, the research shows that people who kept a gratitude journal and served others reported increased happiness and decreased depression over six months. I know, six months sounds like a lot and forever away, but those six months are going to go by whether you like it or not. Wouldn't you rather feel better after six months than continue to stay in that negative loop you're in? I can't even tell you how many times I've been told to journal when I'm going through something hard. And at the time, I would roll my eyes like, yeah, whatever. But once I started doing it daily, I have noticed a tremendous change in the way I feel, live, and show up each day. So even if life is beyond tough for you right now, there is always something to be grateful for. Your home. Your bed. your initiative just by listening to this podcast. The third way you can find more joy is through behavioral activation or BA. The purpose of BA is to increase positive emotions with meaningful, rewarding activities, even when you don't feel like it. And yeah, I know that's hard. It's hard to motivate yourself when you really feel down. And I get it. I've been there. So this method was incredibly helpful for me during those nine months I spent in isolation with Parker. The research shows that when we feel low or depressed, we tend to withdraw from the world, which increases those feelings of helplessness and sadness. So behavioral activation breaks that cycle by encouraging small, intentional actions that align with your values. So how does it work? First of all, you need to identify your values. What matters to you most? Is it connection, creativity, health, getting moving? For me, moving my body and being creative are incredibly important to me. This super accessible way to manage stress and trauma includes scheduling small and value-based activities daily. Like I said, even when you don't feel like it. Don't get overwhelmed. I just want you to start small. Some examples can be Just taking a walk or making a phone call to someone you love. There's endless research that shows that moving your body can change your state. Put on some music and dance and you'll be surprised at how quickly this can take you out of your negative thought patterns. If connection is important to you, make a phone call to a friend or family member who you haven't talked to in a while. Knowing they are there for you and accessible to you will help remind you that you are loved and you do have connection outside of yourself. If creativity calls you, do something creative that makes you happy, whether it's knitting, painting, drawing, or doing crafts with your kids. Finally, make sure to really take notice of how these actions make you feel. Did you feel better in that moment? Did you feel better after that walk? And how can you carry that feeling throughout the day and repeat it the next day? Like I said, I think enough times in this podcast so far is that movement is so important to me. During my three years of surgeries, I couldn't exercise and I was miserable, mentally so down, beyond what I've ever felt before. It took my daughter's cancer diagnosis to snap me out of my negative loops and find strength. That's when I decided I would work out every day and go on to train for the New York City Marathon. Not only did it get me moving, it gave me purpose. The best part of these methods is they don't require therapy and will increase your motivation to reclaim your joy. By taking small actions, your new and lighter emotions will allow or will follow. A 2016 study published in The Lancet found behavioral activation to be just as effective as cognitive behavioral behavioral therapy, which includes talk and exposure therapy with a professional. All right, let's recap on the three ways to help you move past your pain and towards a brighter and more fulfilled you. Number one, breathing. Breathe deeper and more often. Meditation and scanning your body. Like I mentioned before, just using a guided sleep meditation or body scan at bedtime can significantly change your outlook on life. Two, having the attitude of gratitude, and making it a practice to write down five to ten things you are grateful for each day. You can do this in the morning while having coffee or before bed. Envisioning the life you want and deserve, and finally by serving others through random acts of kindness. There is a multitude of research showing that serving others and giving rather than receiving results in a feeling of fulfillment and satisfaction. And three, Behavioral activation. Put simply, get moving, get creative, and schedule time for connection with those you love and care about. So if you feel like life has been knocking you down and taking the wind out of your sails, if you've been through something heavy, heartbreaking, or too much, I want you to hear this. Your glow isn't gone. It's waiting for you. Waiting for you to reclaim it piece by piece. Today we talked about real evidence-backed ways to start the process. Whether it's through rewriting your inner story, mindfulness to anchor you in the now instead of the what-ifs, or the simple power of positive thinking, like writing down your gratitudes and moving your body. These aren't random feel-good trends. These are tools. Tools that will work if you put them into practice. I've been there and I've seen it. Here's the truth. Healing doesn't mean forgetting. It doesn't mean ignoring the hard stuff or pretending everything's perfect. Healing means showing up for your own life and choosing to participate in your own joy despite everything you've been through. So, this week I invite you to pick one thing. Just one. One action aligned with who you are or who you want to be. Maybe it's a walk. Maybe it's a phone call. A gratitude list or a long overdue breath.

UNKNOWN: 19:49

Sigh. Sigh.

SPEAKER_00: 19:50

Whatever it is, start small and start to find your glow. Thank you for listening. And more importantly, thank you for choosing yourself. Your happiness is your birthright. Glow wild, everyone.